Monday, June 12, 2006

A title revisited

It's official the crazy Russian can rot in the very bowels of hell! This weekend was totally lame. It was partly my fault. I shouldn't have told a mutual friend we were going to be hanging out, because it doubled the time it took for me to get to her, and my friend is dating her ex. did she say as much? of course not. anyway, I knew it would take work to make the most of the day. I tried not to brood about my stupidity. she didn't help matters. so we all end up having lunch. things are going fine for the most part. we're all chipper and chatting. I take a phone call from Gina in nz. that call runs a bit long since my girl is calling from nz. anyway, I come back to the table and we keep talking. then we get onto the subject of my lack of love life. more specifically we get to talking about my approach. I tell friend 1 that women practically throw panties in her face. she's just got that something I say. half jokingly I say maybe it's coz' I’m a dread locked black chick with broad shoulders. and friend 1 is like's coz there is this ferocity about you. I’m harmless she says. then that crazy Russian twat chimes in with or maybe it's coz your corner girls in the bathroom. when she put that shit into the air I quietly freaked out. how dare she! she not but Wednesday sent me one her cryptic missives totally acknowledging that she's attracted to me. and I motherfucking quote:

Like playing in a sandbox and then four square and then there is the
attraction to you that will always persist, but you are a Leo and I a Taurus
and that is why persisting verging on existing.

I totally understand that this thing between has nowhere to go except to bed. Literally and figuratively. but seriously, I get it but what I don't get is why she felt like she could say some mean spirited shit like that? this isn't one her stupid wannabe cute misunderstandings. as far as I’m concerned she pulled that stunt with malicious intent. we basically had a very public discussion about shit she's never had the balls to discuss in private

needless to say my goddamned pride weekend was kind of ruined. the worst night of sleep in my life. I was and am so disgusted. the next morning I realized that disgust was what was coursing through me all the night before.

god does she make me seethe...I fucking hate seething...all it means when it's coupled with an intense attraction is that if the other party didn't have their head up their could be very hot and heavy action without all the emotional shite. we could just be two vicious animals slaking the blood lust for a few weeks. dumb ass birds.