Monday, November 28, 2005

What is that infernal beeping...

And people wonder why in the modern age there have been a rash of crazies! That beep is going to fucking kill me. Goddamn the local cafe is becoming quite the hot spot. I feel bad that I have no intention of buying anything. That was weird. My post just got published prematurely. This cafe totally reminds me of Austin.

I really am missing Texas these days. I'm gonna try to get home for Xmas. It's feasible. I'm on track to be financially stable here in a month or so.

My new favorite cartoon is Squidbillies. I wish I had money. I'd like to eat some Pakistani food.

And what's up with this Cantenna business?? I gotta get one.


T minus 9 til I'm banging Kern. God, I wish. She's all het now, but we're still in communication. And you know what that means...hehehehehehehehe...


This Turkey day was very lethargic. I literally laid in bed the whole time. I really need to get home for the holidays...otherwise I'm just a lonely crazy person.

Blah blah blah....

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Be Resolute

Good christ...I can't be bothered with her. She doesn't stoke the lust nearly as much as baby angel. It is however a comparable lust. Really I shouldn't have opened my drunken trap. Whatever...I got the sense that she lied to me anyways. These goddamned youngsters. Kern is back in contact with me. Me likey. Me also likey the wonderful dead feeling between my legs when I make mention of her. There are no filth mongering thoughts...nothing...but a desire to chat with a friend. Crazy. I'm gettin' grown.

So this TV show is totally wild. I'm getting Lasik and a home makeover and maybe a personal trainer. They filmed me sleeping the other night. When I walked into my room I was taken aback. It was so weird and ultimately invasive. Like I was completely freaking out about whether or not they'd found my porn. They probably did. I knew they'd found the dope because I don't hide that shit worth a damn.

I also blurted out that I like white chicks. I've got mixed feelings about that...it's not exactly accurate but then again...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I dreamed of being the one...

So my ex lover wants to be straight and not perverted. That really blows and makes me sad. My friend Rachel put it rather succintly ...she said that people that are truly fucked up are desperate to be normal. That's definately Jen....the poor soul. Do I feel l sorry for her?? Yes and no. I mean she was and is a self centered nutball, I will always feel a strange affection for her. No, not strange...truly genuine. We just can't stand one another. And while under normal circumstances that'd be really funny, we're not normal together or apart. Why am I so gutwrenched behind this revelation? I guess it's cause I know I've lost her....definately as a hot lay....and as a friend. It's too bad. It really is.

I have a cold. Boohoo...So I'm gonna be on the gay tv show. That's what's up! And I get paid. Double that's what's up!!! Woo woo!! I've also got to drive the Osama bin Publicolor van back to my place so I can drop it off tonight.

I want to go to sleep...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Oh good christ

ok so I asked this woman out on the subway. no she was not a complete stranger...just kind of a stranger. I acted like a crazy person as I am want to do. we'll see how it all goes down. I seriously had been thinking about her all weekend and then bam...there she is on the train. I couldn't not ask her out...no matter how terrified...no matter how early...and yes it was before all of god and man. Here's the thing...she was so ambivalent...I think..l mean...what do I know about another soul on the planet.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Motherfucking Cingular...

Don't ever let me catch a Cingular Wireless employee out at night. I will seriously fuck them up. You want to talk about indescrimate slaughter....ahh!! Those sorry cocksuckers. I'm not even going to go into the whole sordid tale, but I hate those fucks.

Anyway my super offered me 5g's to marry his brother. I have got to get out of that neighborhood. I love it and all but this is too much. Like 5G's means squat after two years of misleading la migra.

Guys I think I'm over NYC. Like seriously I need more action than this...and gainful employment is so fucking over rated. Good christ. Nothing is bringing me satisfaction these days. Not the dope. Not the beer. Nothing. I gotta do something really wild and soon.

I'm sniffin' around an ex again...really it can't be helped. I'm a salivating pervert and she is the stuff that needs. And pinche Friendster isn't helping. But it kind of is...one can now view who has viewed you. Very cool, but still whatever because there is ofcourse an anonymous option. So far 38 peeps have viewed my profile, but only 8 are willing to show their faces. Listen to me talk...I totally hit the anonymous option! Anyway, I think she's been sniffin' around too even though she'd be loathed to admit it.

The gig can blow me 8 ways from Sunday. What else is new?
I am re-reading this awesome book on the modern history of Afghanistan. Frickin' amazing. I'm not too convinces Afghanistan should have been a country, but what the hell we all only live once. Imperialism and a total disregard for law and order have really fucked those people. You know I've never really re-read anything before this soon, but it feels quite natural.

It's fuckin' pouring outside, and my phone is deader than a door nail. This means I cannot communicate with anyone. Namely, the folks I was suppose to have dinner with tonight. How fucking lame is that...and I lay the blame squarely at Cingular's feet. Those sorry cunts!


I was also reading this book called All God's Children about Willie Bosket the most dangerous inmate ever in NY Penal system. The book was pretty good, but by the end I was like ...ok ok...america doesn't like black people...black men especially...this kid had been treated like an unloved animal pretty much his whole life...but fuck it he was still a crazy pain in the ass. In all seriousness though it did give me some insight into the kids I work with and America's general love affair with violence.

Jesus working with middle schoolers...I always feel like I now kind of smell like pee all the time but that is because these little shits still piss themselves or something. The whole joint smells like piss. Mind you...I'd do the principal...she's a cross between that dykey coach in Porky's and any attractive older latina woman...it's weird. I'm weird.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

You should see my fuckin' face right now...

Guess who emailed me "out of the blue" at all of my known email addresses?? I told you people that woman is a slave to her cunt. In a matter of months our particular kind of cosmic chicanery will be back on. The fall is definately here. It's our time. I'm worked over from work. Ugh...just the very thought of it is draining. Gotta man up...and get a little mean if I need to...

The fall has got me thinking about that Tarot card reading...she was good...Dude I'm so broke...that cat's are eating tuna fish for the rest of the week...this isn't going to be pretty...well it's only until Friday...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Oh my my oh hell yes...too cold to cry

Tom Petty. That's what's up. Lately the only thing that soothes me is country music. I listen to this badass internet radio station at work called GruenewithEnvy. It's a show based out of this small quaint town right outside of Austin Texas. I am really missin' texas these days. I think really I'm missing the novelty of NYC. Cause' lord knows the fucking novelty has worn off. Damn quite a few hotties at the local cafe...meow. Well except for her. She won't ever know that I'm writing this about her.

Fuck me on the dance floor. -- Princess Superstar. My love. I idol.

See, this is where audio blogs come in. I had a whole buncha shit to say minute ago. A minute being my walk over here...time doesn't exist. time doesn't exist. time doesn't exist.

Ok I'm over it.

Love the pursuit.
In prefering, i do.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Entro Minha Casa


Call me Casuza from now on. I like that name. If I had an alter ego that'd be the name. Ok so I have an audition for the gay tv show this afternoon. So I'm leaving the office in like 30 minutes. Which means I'm going to blog and maybe shop for anime online. This 9 - 5 business takes some serious getting used to. Or maybe it's working for a socialite that's making me crazy. Today though went by very fast. And to be honest all the days after this are going to go by pretty quick too as I'll only be in the office half days. I need to follow up with one dude before I split. These fucking corporations...they want kids to beg, borrow, and steal for their shite and yet when it comes to helping out a good cause...they become the cheapest fucks on the planet!

This weekend was cool until I decided to hang out with the lesbitrons. Like when the fuck are the dyke dj's going to step out of the mid nineties and get some goddamned taste in music? It really offended me that not but 3 hours before I was dancing my ass off to DJ Spinna, DJ Rich Medina, and Bobbito only to cap off the night with .50 cent. You rat bitches! I am so sick of compartmentalizing my fucking life between gay and intersting. The whole fucking queer community is in the throes of mediocrity.

So I've got my eye on this hottie named A. I've learned my lesson about using full names. I feel like she might interested too, but she is my type so she just might be more intersted in being desired than actually desiring. That's fine. They always learn. hehehe...I'm such a salivating pervert. On Saturday I had like an extened sexual fantasy about this hottie. That rarely happens...turns out I'm about rag, but the fantasy was still hot none the less. I can't wait to see her Halloween outfit. Hopefully, it'll be as hot as I pictured.

I'm still terminally in financial ruin. Money...who gives a shit.

This is a picture of my friend Shannon. I might not ever see her again. She's keeping her ass on her side of the planet. That blows for me. She's very fucking cool and one of the first friends i had in NYc. She pulled a knife on me in my own house. It's way funnier than it sounds.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Starving...

So I'm back in NYC, and I'm not feelin' too terrible. In fact, I feel fantastic. Gettin' out of NYC did wonders for my soul. Last night at APT was hot. The music frickin' bad ass. What's up with aggro bi black girls always trying to pull my hair? Part of me wants to be like...listen bitch you know fuckin' squat about toppin, ya hear...the other part of me is like stop talking trash to trash...

I've been resisting my toppy ways since I moved up here, but maybe I need to rekindle that energy....coz the liklihood of some piece in this town coming correct is slim...

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I had a fantastic tarot card reading in LA. I mean the lady was spot on. She talked about a jealous female air sign that really fucked me up...an immature fire sign that was an on again off again type thing...and apparently a gemini is gonna rock my world in a coupla weeks here...gosh I wonder who that could be...she also talked about my needint to open up and let go of the past...I was like whoa...

And it's true Angie was a very fucking jealous Libra who did some damage. Jen is a sag who can't handle the kink in the pretty pussy of hers...as for the gemini business...I've got no clue. And this summer has definately been about letting go of my pain surrounding Jen C. And in letting go of that pain...I'm also realizing that I want to move out of NYC and the US. The wanderlust is starting to burn.

But then I look around my neighborhood and coffeshop and apartment and my new friends...and I'm like...give this town a coupla more years.

God I really should go home and eat...but I like surfing the web too much. I don't konw if my rent is paid up and I haven't recieved the slip...so....I don't know...I don't have a bad feeling in my gut, so I think it'll be ok.

Seeing the ocean was so amazing...I need to live by water when I split.

I finally got film for my Holga...now I need to get into the habit of carrying it around with me everywhere. I swear to christ there were so many lomo moments in LA. It was shameful that I was so forgetful and ill prepared.

This Odwalla isn't quite what I had in mind.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Free Jazz...I think

Christ, I've got so much to do tonight. And yet here I am goofing around at the cafe. It's almost ten. How depressing. So I'm reading the Fermanta. It's an amazing book. I'm also reading this 911 time line book. Very freaky shit man. The govt had their grubby paws all over that. Bush you sorry bastard...you and your boys have got blood on your hands. Is ruling the world that cool? Sounds like a big ol' pain in the ass to me. En plus, I think it makes you kind of perverted. Pervert. You give perverts a bad name. Bush, you're like that yellow bastard in Sin City. Stinky and nasty.

I saw this beautiful piece of furniture up the road today. God, I was so tempted to buy that shit. Lovely. I'm such a stoner. How many times do you have to remind yourself...do not talk to people when you're high.

Two weeks all to myself...gonna be nice. Just don't blow your wad.

Older than Young

this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Puking Sucks...


So check it...the owner of the hitherto unnamed company is flying me out to a large west coast city this friday. I'm not sure if I'm caught up on rent. I feel like I am. I made a budget and everything. Fucking thieving ass children. They mentally fucked up my flow. Anyway, I'm excited I've never been to the west coast...This is me as a lady. I must say I look damn good. You know what though...I'm still single to mingle. I keep thinking to myself I need to work out...keep a consistent style...but all of that takes...gulp...work. And you know how I feel about that sort of thing.

Like I was looking at folks on the train...and the young people my age are so beautiful and stylish. I feel my competitive hackles rise then...poof...I'm thinking about something else...like how I got totally fucking drunk Sunday night and ended up riding the fucking Q train from one end to the other twice! En fucking plus, at one point I wake up from my totally obliterated stated to see some cocksucker with his head between my legs jerking off...I kid you not. I haven't decided if I should be traumatized yet. The shit is kind of funny. Kind of. Now I look at all the skeevy black dudes on the subway and am ready to mutilate and deform. Like had I been in a more sober state, it probably would not have happened....but still I would have been ready to put my foot in his sorry ass.

And the hangover...good christ...I'm still soar from puking. Of course I woke up uber late for work and completely worked over. I had to leave early. I spent all of monday night sleeping and puking up bile. I'm seriously considering early retirement from drinking. Or really...goddamn free drinks at Moe's on Sunday nights....and don't mix pot brownies with booze...rookie moves...man rookie moves.

God the affection of a baby animal can fix anything.

Chelsea is a lovely neighborhood. Sugar mama o sugar mama where art thou and shit?
I was over this afternoon after work checking out some homage to graffiti. Like they re-created old school subway cars and had folks go to town on them. Apparently Bloomberg try to stop it, but you can't keep the people down. You can only limit their activities between this street and that.

I can respect that version of hip hop. This new fangled shit can blow me.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Internet dating...

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try internet dating. Jesus talk about rock fucking bottom. Eh gads...I should go home and smoke some dope. But If I go home...I'm not going back out into the city....my friend Al who is moving back to MN called me to invite me out to Apt. my favorite fucking night club...and I'm sitting here wit my goddamn thumb up my ass...thinking to myself...oh well I have an 8:30 meeting tomorrow morning...goddamnit! I'm all gross from painting...and I think I started my period. Totally not in a going out mood...but Al's my boy.

Ok so I just cracked open another smirnoff ice. Carmen gets off work in an hour and a half...can you make it? I'm at Carmen's coz I'm baby sitting her kitten. I'm gonna have to buy Carmen smore Smirnoff Ices...she's actually got liquer proper at her crib...

So I've been thinking about cutting my dred locks off...I'm kind of over the look...I shaved off the sides, but still I'm ready to cut all of them off, but I've vowed to keep them until I was 30. It's a commitment thing.

SIgh...bored bored bored.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Damn the Man...

I'm frickin' starving. Where is my Mexican food. Looks like Shandar might still be in my sights...

So I'm surfing butchfemmeblahblah.com, and came across an ex-lover. I'm kind of chuckling, but I'm also like Christ on the cross...Hi Liz. Hair modeling sounds cool.

AAAArgh! There had better be a dimunitive little Mexican man coming to deliver my quesadillas al pastor or there is going to be hell to pay! The waitress was being a total cunt...I shoulda known.....wait...wait...ok. It's here. I take it all back. It's the blood sugar you know..

God...It's real local Mexican food...which is to say...my quesadilla came on fried corn. And now for the nachos...much better...

So my wallet got stolen, and then it was miraculously found....I say miraculous triflin' coz these little girls I work with are bad and obvious...

God what a draining day...I barely made it out to Vox Pop. I'm very pleased with the Nachos...anyway....bad ass kids...but I'll be back tomorrow. Happily.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Low Light Nights

I don't know if I'm hungry or not. That insufferable old Haitian is loitering about outside the cafe again. This time he's brought a friend. You cocksuckers can rot. I'm not in the mood. You guys...I think I'm getting over NYC. I can feel that knawing feeling I had back in Austin rearing it's head again. I gotta keep movin'. This time though I'm puttin' together a plan. I'm saving money.

I've been hangin' out Brazilian stylee...I went to a show. I had some delicious Brazilian food. Got advice about travel to Brazil from a nice family. The dad was kind of hot. Yes, I'm still a known homosexual. I just like lookin' at men.

I got some nice eye contact at PS1. Turns out she was too short for my liking, but the eye stuff was nice none the less.

I also found out a friend of mine is hookin'. It's best not to care, and just love the girl and the trip she's on. But I've secretly vowed to read her the riot act if shit gets out of control. I worry.

The cafe is about to close. I should rap this up. Still no word on the gay tv show. Considering how diar my sex life is...I totally need to get on that show.

Jen Kern. Grrr...you still make me crazy.


I need to get crackin' on the love letter thing. I gotta get a p.o. box. I think motherfuckers are stealing shit out of my mailbox.

Damn I can't shake this lonely sinking feeling. Last night on the way home I was in such a rage. I just kept flinging things out of my bag, disgusted with everything. Saturday nights man...they kind of fucking suck. Well really it was that damn Hungarian, Gugi...or some shit. What a demanding little piglet she was being. I think she's envious of Adriana. It seems like Gugi's got the pedigree, but Adriana got the class and noble blood. She's delicious. Gugi, ain't.

Brooke Shields is still beautiful fuck all the haters!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Pauvre Lola

I found a week old kitten in the south bronx. My friend Carmen adopted the little lady. Right now I just put her inside my shirt. I figure it made her feel like she was back with her mama. God, that's the part that bums me out about kittens. She's like forever alone in the world now. She's asleep inside my shirt. She is so fucking cute. I like playing the moma. I think it suits me. So I saw this hottie in Soho this afternoon that I saw at my birthday party the other night. God is she lovely. She's a brunette version of Diana, and WAY WAY cooler. Me and god had a little chat on the subway this after noon about hooking me up with a hottie like her provided she's a known homosexual and likes her ladies butch of center and chub of center.It could happen. This week has been pretty cool at the gig. I've been doing alot of driving.

So I recently had a birthday. I called in a blog rolling my face off. I've decided that I'll be in nyc for another 2 -5 years, but then after that...I'm bouncing to another country.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Friday, August 05, 2005

Vox

Those Iowa boys are wild. This band I'm kind of suffering through is from Iowa. I think they circle jerk with each other. They seem like the type. I mean that in the nicest possible way. So I had a seven hour nap today. I feel good. Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be 27...that much closer to 30. That much closer to happy. Yep. I'm still happy. These goddamn pop up are gonna be the death of me. I think I'm going to ask my step mom to buy me the Cowon iAudio X5L. It looks cool as fuck, and if you're gonna buy an MP3 Player, better get it with bad ass features. I don't mind the band so much now. I like indy pop. Call me old fashioned. So back to turnin' 27. I suppose really like every birthday with the exception of the ones from my childhood, I'm just shocked. Like Jesus this aging thing really does happen.. Nice I can recover posts if I do something stupid. For a second there I thought I had lost this post.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Monday, August 01, 2005

Illy

So a shit ton of people hit up my site today. Nice. None of them stayed for long, thta's cool. There's nothing much here. Just my life, and who gives a hooey about that. I fuckin' jammed my finger trying to relive the old days on the concrete courts of nyc. I must say though, getting thrashed about playing with the boys is still damn good fun. I would just like to point out that you'll be 27 here in a week and that kind of behaviour...well...let's just say that the sun has set on this gut.

So I'm at the local coffee shop and some dude is listening to a haitian radio station and generally freaking out on the phone. It's nice. I'm just grateful he didn't try to chat me up. My neighborhood is the bomb. I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. I'm gonna renew my lease. Let's just hope I can stay gainfully employed. Christ these women at the gig are raking me over the goddamn coals! I haven't even been in my new position a month and they are already hassling me about my numbers...and yet I"m not in a sales position. Fuck them...like I've been saying for the last week...I play better when I'm pissed. I refuse to get bummed about this job. FUCK THEM! Those kids make me happy.

I talked to my old friend Ryan back home. God, that was good. It's nice to have people in your life where the arduous process of getting to know someone is already done and over with, but what's more those particular processes were awesome anyhow.

Up here....I'm still leary. I'm feeling less and less surrounding the summer of 2001. I'm getting there. Where's my Dorothy Parker waitress working the night shift? Dishwater blonde. Tall and fine. She got a lot of tips. Well I think I've met her but she's outta my league. I'm still coming to terms with my mediocrity. I'm not trying to be self depreciating, it's just true. I'm so normal it's not even funny. Have you ever read the Magus? So true man....so true.

Damn...dude with the radio is seriously trying to make up lost ground with his lady. She sounds pissed...he's all hemmin' and hawin'....immigrant love.

I should go for a walk in my neighborhood more often. It helped.
this is an audio post - click to play

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Friday, July 22, 2005

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Friday, July 15, 2005

Christ on the Cross

Feeling like a big ball of stress. This blog kind of put me in the hot seat yesterday. As my life is want to be the situation was more funny than lame, but it could been so lame! En plus, all of my co-workers are wanting to check out the blog now. So what's up...Dana. Rachel. Vadie...hehehe.

Now I feel like I can't talk about certain things...really I can I'll just have to write in code. But I suck at that sort of thing. I'm like a paper bag trying to hold water.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Like I shouldn't be blogging at work, but fuck it...

Ok if my office mate is chatting online to her boyfriend, then I'm gonna blog. So...I just scored all 26 episodes of Cowboy Bebop! What?! I can't tell you how stoked I am. Working in the Bronx has been intense. Did I tell you about the baby in a cage at this one place we're working at? Ok, so the baby wasn't in a cage, but little dude was well on his way to being animalized. So, I'm walking across the street to see what exactly we'll have to be doing .... oh christ I'm getting kind swamped...laters...ok I'm back. I'm gonna blog for the last 15 min before I head out to site.

So anyway I'm walking across the street and I see this cute baby in the window. As I get closer...little dude's face is covered in Pringles Chip dust, his diapers are all busted, and he looks generally like shit. Next thing I know he's spitting at me. Fucking spitting at me! Easily the most horrifying thing I've seen in my life. This experience is nothing like working at the shelter in East New York.

I'm kind of stressing about the the gig...too much work...too little time...really it all has to do with the fact that I have to split my time between the office and site. Fridays look like they are going to be long days. The horror...


I worry that being salaried in gonna turn me into a total square. Like no weekday mayhem...no cussing...no nothing. Yeah yeah I work with kids, but I'm still me dammit. And kids these days don't need some g-rated hokey shit. They need mitigated transparency. Ok for reals this time I'm out. I gotta clean up my work area and then split for the Boogie Down.

Monday, July 11, 2005

What a barn burner...

Good god, it has been a helluva month and a half. The owner of the company where I was a retail fairy has offered to fly me out to a large city on the west coast. Hopefully, I'll be leaving at the end of the month. It also looks like I am going to cancel my jazz trio birthday. Samer will be back in town around that time and a major bruhaha will be going down at Pran's. I like him...a bi-sexual Indian doc by way of Arkansas...I love this city.

I finally spent a day at the crib. I cleaned a little bit...drank a little bit...I blew a shit ton of cash on DVD's. What the fuck is Region 1? Apparently, I bought Sex, Lies, and Videotape as Region 1 DVD. It wouldn't play on my DVD player.

There were a number of hotties out at the various parties I hit up. Can I just say that I love Australian ladies. They are so raucous and lovely...just like Texas women. Christ things are heating up at the office...it's looking like I might have to split soon.

There's a new hottie gainfully employed here...tall...speaks Portuguese...you can still see the gangly adolescent in her features...delish...

You know if the truth be told...I'd do all the ladies of the office with the exception of my immediate superviser and the CFO. Working with all women is kind of wild. Very wild in fact.


I finally left the city weekend before last! It was so needed. I went out to a friend's beachhouse. It was so lovely...the beach was amazing...I hadn't been out to the beach in ages...like years...
En plus!! I fucking got sunburn...that shit never happens to me...ever....the world is done for...black people don't get sunburn...we're fucked.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Gainful Employment

So I start the office aspect of my job tommorrow. I've never had such mixed feelings. Like I feel confident that I can do the job, but everybody is laying all this negative stuff on me about working in the office. I really wish they would just shut the fuck up.

Friday and Saturday night I rocked this sexy black dress with pink high heels. That's right you sorry sacks! Pink High heels! I'll be uploading those photos soon. Ofcourse, lesbians were hating.

June is my favorite month. Fun shit is always going down. I think it has alot to do with the excitement of summer's beginning. Jesus I need a haircut.

I saw Chitra out last night...god I would still do her 8 ways from Sunday, but she so can't be bothered. At this point it's just hilarious.

Varuni.

I have a crush on Varuni. She's got fabulous tits and hair. And everybody knows I'm a sucker for said things. I was drunkenly watching her whip it around while dancing. Well more like teetering on those pink heels, but whatever. I realized that while Varuni is cute and nice she's actually got quite a bit of sex appeal. It's just subtle. (Unlike your drag queen ass!) I bought her a belt. I think she'll like it.

Maybe it' me. Sex or the very thought of it freaks me out on some level these days. For a while I was saying that I didn't want to have sex until I was in love, but now love's secondary. I just want to know if I can do it again. Really the thought of huffing and puffing over or under someone just freaks me the fuck out. I don't anyone to see that face. Then I think about having sex with Varuni, and I really freak out because she's so little. I'd feel like a fucking ogre. I think I'm crazy. And I think this particular kind of crazy has everything to do with the fact that I haven't had sex in two years. And no I'm not counting that wretched one night stand. Or the slut out session on the roof. Maybe I'll count the handjob at the Cock. That was cool. But the rest of it...can fucking blow me.

I'm gonna go hangout on a site about cat behaviour. I love my cat kiddies.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Via Spiga

So I've been posting a shit ton of pictures from my work life in NYC. It's been a good ride, but I'm glad I've got a decent gig. I'm excited about working full time at the gig. It's not without it's caveats but there are good people there so we'll see. Miss Daisy is Miss Daisy is what I need to keep remembering. I painted my apartment last night, and the fumes were killing me. But it looks pretty cool. I fucking left a new DVD at the .99 cent store. I hope dude has it when I get home. I'm so pissed at myself. I've been forgetting alot of shit lately. I need to be writing shit down and using a better bag. That tote bag is driving me crazy. I don't care if it is a jack spade.

I'm still waiting to get my wallet back from dude. That's annoying. Like I'm not trying to rush dude's vacation or whatever, but gimme a fuckin' break. I need my shit.

So a couple of days ago my super was bitching at me about someone tagging the walls. He thought it was someone from my party, and I told him he was full of shit. Then last night I was looking for my can of navy blue spray paint, and it was MIA. So, some shit head might have actually tagged, but the colors I've seen used are not in my pad. I only had navy. I'll check the other floors one of these days to see what the deal is. Either way I'm not apologizing to that old coot.

Sometimes I want love and only love. Other times I just want to get it on. But getting it on is no fun unless it expresses the very depths of one's depravity. I'll settle for love and tranny porn.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Avery and Alicia


verushka's party.
Originally uploaded by mel p..
She's so Single Black Female it's not even funny. Oww...swweee!

Welcome to the Monkey House


verushka's party.
Originally uploaded by mel p..
Party! Chug! Chug!

Christ on the cross... Posted by Hello

The Duke. Posted by Hello

The General Melee that night...don't ever give free booze to retail whores. Posted by Hello

The Billybergers Posted by Hello

I'm gonna miss this gig...sorda. Posted by Hello

Holy Shit It's Donnatella... Posted by Hello

Holy Shit It's Donnatella!! Posted by Hello

Peter looking decent. Posted by Hello

Drunk Fuck Posted by Hello

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


My pad filled with fuckers. Posted by Hello

Look at Peter McBeater drunk as fuck! Posted by Hello

That's right a yet another rager in the belly of Brooklyn! Posted by Hello

Me with fucking fat arms...but I'm working out so get off my back. Posted by Hello

Deliciousness at my party no less! Posted by Hello