Wednesday, March 31, 2004

I'm going to buy some hottie a pair of shoes like that...or god willing that very pair above this text. Jesus Bulo shoes rock! I would feel no shame dropping $200++ dollars on something that exquisite.

ooh...look at these....

Water is the self, and the air a reality.

Friday, March 26, 2004

I love the human race. We document everything. Oh, an example?? How about the whale fart?

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

For the last few days I have been wracked with obsessive desire for a woman that will have to go un-named. She's beautiful, and her energy radiates out to me like a pulsar, or a heartbeat. Seriously, it's like a fever. I'll be delirious for days on end conjuring her before my eyes, and the fever will break and I'm back to being relatively normal.

It's a common story really in my life. She's seeing someone else and I am on the periphery of her existence. She's the first woman that's truly thrilled me since Jen. I'm still too sweet for this damned city.

Friday, March 19, 2004

Bring me the love of Tracy Camilla Johns. Or someone like her. I look around my apartment, know that I've got a long way to go. Not in the manner of things, but filling this place with myself. Right now I live in a few select places in this ginormous apartment. The dining table where my laptop sits, and the TV keeps me company. My kitchen, which is a constant and terrifying vacuum. I believe that's the vermin's favorite spot. The place just needs some fuckin' color.

The L word is full of shit. They are in LA and there's not one Mexican dyke. Fuck off racially myopic lesbitrons.

I'm going to a protest tomorrow. Bush you and your cronies are going down. Cocksucker.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Gena Rowlands is not only an amazing actress, but also has this beauty in her face that's gut wrenching. She's the last of those great blondes from the 50's. I was blathering on some site about how I had a weakness for over ripe blondes, which is true but what it really comes down to is that I just like blondes. There just has to be an intangible. An edge. Hmmm...Gena Rowlands.

Mock Terror Drill? Jesus Christ.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I fall into so many pairs of eyes in this city. Our entire love affair plays itself out in a matter of milliseconds. Three weeks is a lifetime, I suppose then. I know she's out there, but I'll leave her to her life. I wouldn't want people mistaking my haunted love with craziness.

I should hate her, she made the whore's move two years ago. Two years of my life gone. I felt like I was in a prison back in Texas, waiting to be back in the glorious New York Night. Now here I am, listless, broke, and wracked with nostalgia. So much for the glorious New York night.
I want to be a stay at home lesbian mom. It's decided. Now I just need to find a willing participant in the dream. We could live in Brazil or the South of France. Talk about flipping shit on its ear.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

I forgot what I was going to talk about. I quit my job at Neighborhoodies. It was time. Goddamn the circus. Last week was a doozy, but it was thrilling. Fire and rain. So I'm going to go see the Dave Chappelle show on Saturday. Hopefully, it will be funny and I don't go by myself. If I go, it'll probably be by myself. That's a compromise of possibility. Happiness measured. Oh I remember.

When I say that there is lust in my heart, I mean that when I look at this woman I want to consume her. Since I've never known her in the carnal sense, I can only eat her up with my eyes. And the one time I could touch her I grabbed her like my life depended on it. The intensity of my lustful curiosity freaked her out. She's just so beautiful and fierce. Surely, she can't be a creature from this realm.